I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
