So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
