That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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