apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
