does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
