Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
