He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
