I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
