As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
