I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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