How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
