this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
