She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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