Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
