He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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