dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
