mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
