a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
