Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
