I wish I could punch you in the face.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I love you. Go after that dick
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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