whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
