i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
