just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
