oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
