also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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