I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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