I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
