Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
