We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
