maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We talked him into tasing himself.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
