Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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