I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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