so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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