Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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