READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
