Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
