The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
