yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
