D3 body, D1 cock
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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