Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
