The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
