Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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