i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just had sex bonerless
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
