woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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