I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
