I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
