Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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