she woke up with a sticky ear
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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