Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
