is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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