dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
