Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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