he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
