He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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