Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
