Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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