Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
