wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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